"Naked As We Came"

As the dawn of adulthood begins to appear over my horizon, I've realised one thing: I have no idea what I'm doing. But oddly enough, this doesn't worry me. I've learned to take comfort in the fact that I'm not completely prepared for everything that is going to happen to me. I haven't become complacent and lazy; I've just stopped worrying about every last thing. For the things that aren't so important and don't need all of my attention, I deal with them as they come. Because it just feels better. I'm still prepared and ready for what I need to prepared and ready for, but there are some things in life that you just have to go through and deal with. Some things you simply can't prepare for. Like the way it feels knowing every day that passes is one day closer to not being around all of my friends all the time. As silly as it may seem, it matters. And there's nothing I can do about it, other than accept it and deal with it as it comes. When we say our farewells, a new book in our lives' series will begin to be written.
 People usually focus on the good in that, the fact that you get to start again and more or less move on with your life. But when you're in the middle of it, looking at the proverbial bright side doesn't seem so appealing. And quite frankly, I am tired of feeling like I have to look at the positive side of every situation. Because sometimes, life just sucks and I'm not happy with it. So in those moments, I'm not entirely focused on being positive and happy. In fact, I'm not focused on it at all. I believe that constantly finding the good in things makes you weak. You push away the feelings that make you sad and angry, and you lose touch with that part of yourself. So stop it. Cry. Get anger. Feel everything. Because in that moment you are human and you are you. Take a few moments to be selfish and feel everything you want to feel. Let pour over you like rain on a dry and barren desert. When the rain stops, the clouds will part and you will actually be able to see the sun instead of having to look for it.
To me, this is individualism. This is freedom. The ability to be yourself and feel everything all at once when everyone else tells you to toughen up and find the good side. I will not allow myself to feel what other people want me to feel. I will not apologize for how I feel, because that is synonymous with apologizing for who I am, and that's something no one should do. Take away the clichéd meaning and truly look at the phrase 'be yourself'. I have nothing more to say than be yourself.

It's Really All Just Cosmic Insignificance

I never thought I would miss the sight of FIFA projected onto a wall, but as summer comes to a close and my friends begin to pack their belongings I find myself clinging to all the memories this summer brought me. This has undoubtedly been the most memorable summer of my life thus far. I watched more soccer games in four weeks than I've seen in my entire life, baked and cooked more foods than I probably should have eaten, and laughed more than I thought was humanly possible. The people I've been so blessed to call my friends have given me so much joy and so much love that I don't know what life will be like without them. And I don't just mean when they go off to college or when I go off to college. That will be difficult, but at some point in my life I won't talk to most or maybe even any of them. I'll look back on this summer and other times in my life and remember them and be glad I met them, but I won't see them or talk to them anymore. In thirty years or so they'll be just a memory, and that is one of the oddest things for me to contemplate. It's difficult to just live in the now when the now is all about preparing for what comes next. This year is a year of transitions and endings and beginnings. This year is about starting the rest of my life, and to be quite honest I don't feel ready for that.